Somewhere along the way, changing your mind got mislabeled as inconsistency. As flakiness. As weakness. Especially when you’re a Black woman. Especially when you’re visible. Especially when people benefited from the version of you that said yes.
Changing your mind is not betrayal. It’s discernment.
“You’re allowed to change your mind” is permission to honor what you know now, not what you agreed to when you had less information, less clarity, or fewer options. Decisions made in good faith don’t become cages. Alignment is not a lifetime contract.
We’re taught to stand by choices even when they stop standing by us. To stay the course even when the course is wrong. To confuse commitment with self-abandonment. But growth requires revision.
Changing your mind doesn’t erase your integrity. It proves it.
It means you’re listening.
It means you’re paying attention.
It means you’re not loyal to optics over truth.
And no, you don’t owe an explanation for evolving. You don’t have to narrate the moment you knew. You don’t have to soften it so others feel comfortable. The decision is the explanation.
So if you’re changing direction… good. If you’re choosing differently… good. If you’re walking away from something that no longer aligns… good.
You’re not late. You’re not wrong. You’re not unstable.
You’re allowed to change your mind. Period.
Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the self-trusting creature you are.
The Invisible Black Woman 
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