The Invisible Black Woman

Let’s just call a thing a thing: there are some roles, relationships, jobs, and environments that only function if you are depleted, doubting yourself, and available at your own expense.

And the moment you disrupt that cycle—by choosing peace, boundaries, or rest—they act brand new like you’re the problem.

But I need you to sit with this: anything that demands your exhaustion to prove your worth was never worthy of you in the first place.

We live in a world that loves what you produce but has little regard for the cost of that production. Whether it’s in the workplace or at home, too many people have grown used to your sacrifice and silence. They expect you to show up with a smile while your needs are in a ditch. They clap for your resilience while contributing to your burnout.

And the wildest part? They’ll spin the story to make you feel guilty for recognizing that. For saying, “Hey… this don’t feel right.” For saying, “I deserve better than this.” For finally drawing the line and saying, “No more.”

But here’s your reminder: you are not too much for asking not to be mistreated. You are not selfish for choosing spaces that don’t drain you. You are not dramatic for refusing to contort yourself into versions that are more palatable or more convenient for others.

When you finally start honoring your own worth, don’t be surprised when people who benefited from your confusion start calling it arrogance.

Let them.

Their discomfort with your boundaries is not your burden.

Their expectations of your self-neglect are not your standard.

Their inability to respect your worth is not your responsibility to manage.

Read that again. Slowly and let the words sink in.

You are not required to stay anywhere that diminishes you to keep the peace. That ain’t peace.

Your light was never meant to be dimmed so others can feel more comfortable in their shadows.

Your joy was never meant to be rationed for those who only show up when they’re hungry for what you provide.

Your presence is not an all-access pass for people who can’t be trusted with you.

So if it’s demanding you abandon your boundaries to belong. If it’s demanding you perform pain to be praised. If it’s demanding you hide your truth so they can sit comfortably in lies.

It. Doesn’t. Deserve. You. And you deserve better.

Period.

Let today be the day you reclaim yourself from all the places that forgot your value.

Let today be the day you remind yourself that you don’t owe anyone access to the version of you that is breaking just to keep things together.

Let today be the day you stop apologizing for prioritizing your wholeness.

Not because it’s easy. But because you’ve finally decided that you deserve you. All of you. The soft parts. The sacred parts. The rested parts. The honest parts.

And that’s the version that will change everything.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the deserving creature you are.