The Invisible Black Woman

Let’s make one thing abundantly clear: your worth is not up for negotiation. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

And yet, how many of us find ourselves fielding calls from people who only want to tap in when they need something? Answering emails that chip away at our confidence? Showing up to jobs, relationships, or obligations that have us doubting whether we’re good enough—when the truth is, we’ve already done more than enough just to stay afloat?

Let’s not act like it’s just about “being busy.” Sometimes, we’re wide open for what drains us and mysteriously unavailable for what feeds us. That’s not just a time management issue. That’s a self-worth leak.

You weren’t put here to be a catch-all for other people’s confusion, projections, or insecurities. You are not a mirror for their dysfunction. You are a masterpiece. A work in progress, sure, but one that deserves to be protected, even from seemingly harmless asks that quietly chip away at your shine.

Let’s talk boundaries.

Not the performative kind that gets posted in cute quote cards online. I mean the kind that shows up in your silence. Your deleted drafts. The email you let sit overnight before responding… if you respond at all.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “not today.” Not because you’re angry. Not because you’re cold. But because you know your worth. And anything that distorts it? Anything that makes you shrink, second guess, or show up out of alignment?

You’re just not available for that.

Not today. Not anymore.

Because clarity has a funny way of rearranging your entire life. The moment you get crystal clear about who you are and what you bring to the table, the invitations will shift. The expectations will shift. And yes, the people will shift too.

Some will fall away, and that’s fine. Some will protest and that’s expected.

But the ones who get it? The ones who see you for who you really are? They’ll rise to meet you. Because they’ve been waiting for you to come into your full power.

So let this be your notice. You’re no longer entertaining confusion.

You’re no longer letting people rent space in your head when they can’t afford the deposit.

You are no longer saying yes to distortion when your clarity costs too much to compromise.

Be unavailable for anything that doesn’t reflect your worth back to you with precision, honor, and respect.

Because you’ve paid your dues. And now it’s time to collect.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the priceless gem you are.