The Invisible Black Woman

They dangled the benefits like carrots. Healthcare. 401(k) match. Paid vacation you were guilted into not taking. A performance bonus that barely covered your therapy bill.

The fine print never said you’d have to trade your peace to get them.

Let’s be clear: benefits are meant to support you, not break you. But too often, the very “perks” they flaunt are used to trap you in spaces where your well-being is a casualty of your performance. Where your worth is reduced to output. Where the cost of admission is your mental health, your sleep, your time, your joy.

It’s wild how often we convince ourselves to stay in places that are actively draining us, just because the “benefits” seem too good to pass up. We become loyal to the dysfunction. Conditioned to believe that burnout is the price of success, and exhaustion is a badge of honor. We tell ourselves, “It’s just busy season” or “once this project wraps” or “after the next promotion, it’ll get better.” But the hamster wheel keeps spinning. And somehow, you keep running on empty.

Here’s the thing: a benefit isn’t a benefit if it’s used to pacify you, manipulate you, or keep you from walking away. If you’re waking up every day already tired, anxious about checking your email, and dreading back-to-back meetings with no room to breathe. That’s not sustainable. That’s survival. That’s not thriving. And that’s not what you deserve.

Burnout isn’t just about being overworked. It’s about being undervalued, unseen, and unsupported while being expected to deliver excellence on demand. It’s about the emotional tax of performing gratitude for crumbs. It’s about the silence you swallow when you’re too tired to speak up, too scared to walk away, and too weighed down to dream bigger.

Sis, benefits are supposed to add to your life, not take from it.

Don’t let a job sell you peace of mind while robbing you of your actual peace. Don’t let the promise of a future payout keep you stuck in present pain. Don’t let “security” convince you to ignore your symptoms.

You can’t heal in the same place that’s making you sick. And you shouldn’t have to. You’re allowed to want more. To expect more. To leave when less no longer fits.

You deserve benefits and balance. Compensation and consideration. A paycheck and peace.

So if the benefits don’t benefit you. If they come wrapped in chronic stress and sleepless nights. If you’re constantly calculating how much of yourself you have to lose to keep them. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the cost.

And remember: just because the offer came with a bow, doesn’t mean it’s a gift worth keeping.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the peaceful, present, and powerfully protected person you are.