The Invisible Black Woman

There’s a dangerous trap we fall into when we start bargaining with ourselves just to stay “liked” or “useful.” We lower our expectations, bend our backs, and shrink our shine for folks who never had the capacity—or the intention—to value us fully in the first place. It’s the equivalent of putting our brilliance on clearance, hoping someone will see it’s a steal and scoop it up.

But let’s be real: that strategy only leaves us empty. Because the ones who only show up when your boundaries are negotiable? They’re not customers, they’re opportunists. They’ve been trained to take advantage of your generosity, your fear of rocking the boat, your need to belong. And every time you give a discount—whether it’s staying late at a job that refuses to promote you, lending out energy to friends who never reciprocate, or entertaining relationships that drain instead of pour—you lose a piece of yourself that can’t be refunded.

Value doesn’t decrease because someone can’t recognize it. Diamonds don’t stop being diamonds just because somebody only sees a shiny rock. And the truth is, your value is fixed. Priceless. Non-negotiable. The only thing left to decide is whether you’ll keep putting yourself in spaces where discounts are expected—or if you’ll stand firm at full price.

The shift happens when you stop seeking validation from the discount shoppers and start aligning with the ones who see you, respect you, and refuse to haggle with your worth. Because the right people, the right jobs, the right opportunities? They don’t ask for discounts. They pay in full, with interest.

Stop giving markdowns on your soul. You are not clearance. You are not negotiable. You are priceless—and it’s about time you started acting like it.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the gem you are.