The Invisible Black Woman

Yep, I’ve been on a holiday hiatus. That said, letting the first day of 2025 pass without a peep seemed wrong on a lot of levels, so I thought I’d kick it off with a BlueNote Reflection…

No resolutions required, just be kinder to yourself today than you were yesterday.

We live in a world that’s obsessed with productivity and transformation. From “new year, new me” mantras to endless checklists and five-year plans, we’re always being told to do more, be more, achieve more. But what if the most radical thing you could do for yourself today isn’t about doing? What if it’s about being? Being kinder. Being softer. Being gentler to yourself than you were yesterday.

Let’s take a step back for a moment. How did you speak to yourself yesterday? Were you encouraging? Did you give yourself grace for not checking every single thing off the to-do list? Or were you your harshest critic, picking apart what didn’t go right, ignoring what did, and carrying that frustration into today? If you’re like most of us, the kindness you extend to others often stops short when it comes to yourself.

The problem with that flawed approach? The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. When you constantly demand perfection from yourself, when you berate yourself for missteps, or when you refuse to acknowledge your wins, you’re reinforcing the idea that your worth is tied solely to what you produce. Newsflash: you are more than your output. Your worth doesn’t depend on how much you accomplish or how perfectly you execute your plans. It’s inherent, unshakeable, and not up for negotiation.

So, how can we practice being kinder to ourselves today than we were yesterday? Start small. It doesn’t require some dramatic overhaul of your life. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “I didn’t get it all done, but I did enough.” Or reminding yourself, “I’m allowed to rest without earning it.”

Maybe it means stopping mid-thought when you catch yourself spiraling into self-criticism. Instead of, “How could I mess that up?” try, “What can I learn from this, and how can I move forward?”

In the workplace, this concept is even more vital. If you’ve ever found yourself overworking to prove your value, staying silent when you should have spoken up, or taking on tasks that aren’t even in your job description, ask yourself this: is that kindness? Would you expect a friend or loved one to carry the same burdens without complaint? If not, why do you expect it of yourself?

Being kinder to yourself at work might look like advocating for your boundaries. It might mean saying no to the extra project or the after-hours email. It might mean reminding yourself that you’re not defined by the opinions of others, especially those who can’t see your worth. Workplaces can demand so much of us, but they rarely teach us how to replenish what’s been taken. That’s a lesson you owe yourself.

And let’s be real—being kinder to yourself doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly wake up every day bursting with positivity and self-love. That’s not the goal. Some days, kindness looks like simply surviving. It looks like getting out of bed when you didn’t think you could or showing up even when you’re running on fumes. The point isn’t to be perfect; the point is to be consistent in trying. To wake up each day and say, “I’m going to treat myself with a little more grace today than I did yesterday.”

As we close, I want you to take a moment and reflect. What would kindness to yourself look like today? Maybe it’s logging off a little earlier. Maybe it’s saying, “I did enough” instead of “I should have done more.” Maybe it’s calling a friend who makes you laugh or spending 10 minutes doing absolutely nothing. Whatever it is, lean into it. Give yourself permission to be human, messy, and beautifully imperfect.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the radiant gem you are.