The Invisible Black Woman

Sometimes, the slammed doors are ones we decided to pry open.

There I was, sitting at home, buzzing with the energy that comes after a successful interview, an offer in hand, and the excitement of new possibilities. I had done my research, prepped hard, and gone into the interview ready to nail it. And I did. At least, that’s what I thought. Everything seemed to be falling into place—until it wasn’t.

The offer was pulled the day after my first official day. It felt like a punch in the gut. After working for barely 24 hours, they cited “conflict of interest” as the reason. Whose company and whose interest? That’s the question I had. The company seemed like a great fit, and I was pumped to start this new chapter. But there I was, staring at an email that abruptly ended what should have been the start of something big.

Now, this wasn’t my first rodeo, so I wasn’t entirely shocked by the situation. In fact, I had brushed off something during my research that, in hindsight, I should have taken more seriously. See, while I was diving into the company’s “About Us” page, something caught my eye. There was a familiar name—a person I crossed paths with before, someone who I didn’t exactly have the best experience with. But I dismissed it. I told myself, “It’s fine. I’m professional. I can handle this.” I wasn’t going to let an old grudge or bad experience stop me from moving forward. So I kept it moving and focused on what I had to offer. But clearly, that past experience lingered, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

What I didn’t realize then was that door, the one I was so eager to pry open, wasn’t meant for me. It wasn’t my door. And maybe, just maybe, I was trying too hard to force my way into a space that had already shown me it wasn’t aligned with where I was going.

There’s this thing we do sometimes. We see opportunities, shiny and promising, and we convince ourselves that they’re for us. We knock. We push. We do everything to get that door open, even when deep down, there’s a voice telling us, This might not be it. Nah, but forreal though, keep it moving. We brush off red flags, ignore gut instincts, and keep barreling full-speed ahead. Then, when the door slams in our face, we’re left stunned, hurt, and questioning everything.

But here’s what I’ve learned: sometimes, those slammed doors are blessings in disguise. On the flip side, I call those doors we pry open manufactured blessings. Is it really a blessing if you gotta go and fabricate it? Not last I checked. Typically, blessings or windfalls, if that other term ain’t for you, you’re not doing anything to make them happen. They require absolutely no human intervention. So yes, a slammed door is the universe’s way of protecting us from spaces that aren’t for us. They’re reminders that just because we can technically open those doors, metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t mean we should.

In my case, I recognized that familiar name. I knew there was history there, but I downplayed it, thinking I could overcome it with sheer will and professionalism. I know my worth, I know my skills, and I know what I bring to the table. That don’t mean a hill of beans if they make up their minds without giving you a chance and going on the strength of one individual. They did me a humongous favor though. Because truth be told, not every table is good and not every table is meant for me. And that’s okay.

The beauty in slammed doors is that they redirect us. They push us back onto the path we’re supposed to be on, even when we’re stubborn and try to veer off-course. It’s easy to take rejection personally, to feel like we’ve failed. But often, it’s not about failure at all. It’s about alignment. It’s about recognizing that sometimes, the things we chase aren’t what’s best for us, even when they seem perfect on the surface.

Looking back, I can see it clearly now. That company, that position—it wasn’t meant for me. The familiar face on their “About Us” page was a sign, a flashing neon warning that I chose to ignore. But the universe? It wasn’t going to let me ignore it for long. Or in my case, AT ALL.

And I get it. I get why we do it. We’re trained to hustle, to push through obstacles, to chase after what we want with everything we’ve got. But sometimes, in our hustle, we forget to listen. We forget to pause and reflect on whether the thing we’re chasing is really in alignment with our purpose. We forget that doors close for a reason, and sometimes, they’re not meant to be pried open. Hell, I’d go so far as to say never at all.

So, what’s the lesson here? Trust the slammed doors. Trust that the universe knows more than you do in the moment. And if a door slams in your face, don’t stand there banging on it, trying to force your way through. Take a step back. Breathe. Reflect. There’s something else out there for you, something better, something aligned with your purpose. You just have to trust that when one door closes, another will open. One that’s meant for you.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll realize that the door you were so eager to pry open wasn’t the right one in the first place.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the discerning, divine dimepiece you are.