The Invisible Black Woman

Y’all, let me just go ahead and pat myself on the back real quick, mmkay? I have officially written for thirty-three days straight! That’s right, today marks day thirty-three of this self-imposed writing challenge, and I’m feeling all the things. I mean, thirty-three days of showing up, putting in the work, and hitting that “publish” button. Go me! Do people still say that or is my age slip showing again? It’s been both a rollercoaster and a marathon, and I’m still here, still writing. But I’m not gonna lie—I’m currently smack dab in the middle of, you guessed it, The Slump. Yep, capital T, capital S. The struggle is real, y’all.

So, what do you do when you hit that slump? Because I’ll tell you, whether it’s writing, working out, building a new habit, fighting a vice, trying to lose weight—whatever your thing is—at some point, you’re going to face it. Sometimes it doesn’t happen all at once. It can creep up on you. Then next thing you know, you get to that moment when you feel like you just can’t do one more day. When the novelty wears off, the adrenaline is long gone, and all that’s left is the sheer grind of it all.

And trust me, it might be thirty-three days for me, but that could feel like a year if you’re in the thick of it. If it’s your first day tackling something new, it can feel like the longest day ever. Or maybe you’re on day 100, and it feels like you’ve been at it forever with little to show for it. Guess what though? No matter where you are on your journey, every day you chip away at your goal, it matters. It all adds up. Snowball effect, remember?

But first, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: consistency is hard AF. Like, unreasonably hard. When we commit to doing something regularly, especially something that pushes us out of our comfort zone, there’s always going to be a point when we just… don’t wanna. Like today, for example. I’m still reeling from yesterday’s dust-up (the details of which are coming soon… it’s a whole situation). Writing feels like the last thing I want to do. But here I am, typing away, because I made a commitment. But the secret to how I’m managing that is real simple: I’m not focusing at all on how I feel; I’m focusing on what I said I was going to do.

Feelings—they can be messy, unreliable, and have us second-guessing our best-laid plans. It’s so easy to let how we’re feeling in the moment dictate our actions. “I’m tired.” “I don’t feel like it today.” “Just one day off won’t hurt.” And listen, sometimes we really do need that day off, that reset. But other times, we use those feelings as an excuse not to push through when what we really need is to keep showing up. We need to remember that consistency is about commitment, not convenience.

So today, I’m writing not because I feel like it, but because I said I would. And that’s the part I want to emphasize—you have to show up even when you don’t feel like it. In fact, that’s when showing up matters the most. It’s easy to stay motivated and excited in the beginning when it’s still got that new car smell. But when that newness fades and the routine sets in? That’s when the real work begins.

So imma say it again: thirty-three days. I keep saying it because it’s still hitting me—thirty-three days of doing something consistently might as well have been me saying I ran the NYC marathon in my current shape. I don’t look at it and say, “oh, it’s only thirty-three days.” Nah, I’m saying, “girl, you wrote thirty-three whole days! You did that!” I didn’t let a single one slip by, and that means so much to me. But it’s not just about writing. It’s so much more than that. It’s been about discipline, determination, and, yes, a little bit of stubbornness. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it. And I can’t help but wonder what other areas of my life can I apply this same level of consistency.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re struggling with your own version of “the slump,” I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone. Maybe you’re only on day one of your own journey, and that’s okay. Celebrate that you’ve started because yesterday was day zero. The most important thing is that you’ve begun. Don’t let the idea of the long road ahead intimidate you. Take it one day, one step at a time.

When you take it one day, one step at a time, it allows you to focus on the small wins. And those small wins are hella important. Every pound I lose until it comes back with friends is celebrated. But somewhere along the way I get discouraged and consistency be damned. With my writing commitment, I set myself up in a good way by giving myself some breathing room. Instead of saying I have to write every day by seven o’clock each night, I gave myself some wiggle room. Now my goal is to post between 7 p.m. and midnight, where I’ll turn into the proverbial pumpkin and lose my streak. So technically, the window is between 7 p.m. and 11:59 p.m. As long as I hit publish before midnight, I’m golden. That flexibility has made all the difference. It’s my version of not putting myself under the gun. Because, let’s be real, life happens, and sometimes you need a little grace.

I mean, that’s the universal code or lesson for everyone starting something new, right? That’s why you add a cheat day to your weight loss plan/diet. You build a buffer so it doesn’t feel as overwhelming. Whether it’s a health goal, a career milestone, or even personal growth, don’t box yourself in. Make the commitment but give yourself room to breathe. We don’t need to be perfect, we just need to be persistent (or Keep PUSHing).

And speaking of persistence, let’s talk about what it’s really like to keep going when the going gets tough. I know the second half of that is, “the tough get going,” but umm, most often than not, persistence doesn’t feel heroic. It’s not always this big, grand gesture. More often than not, it’s quiet. Hell, most times you don’t even have an audience and the only person that knows is you. So persisting means showing up when you don’t feel like it. It’s that moment when you’ve got two options: stay in bed or go to the gym; binge-watch another episode or tackle that project; scroll through your phone or sit down and write. Persistence is choosing the hard thing even when the easy thing is so tempting.

But let me tell you, when you do push through that slump, it feels like a victory. Even if no one else sees it, you know. And that’s the fuel that keeps you going.

That said, I am in no way downplaying the slump. It’s real, it’s heavy, and it can make you question why you started in the first place. You might even feel like you’re failing because you’ve come up against it. But the slump is a natural part of the process. In fact, it’s inevitable. The key is to not let the slump win.

Think of it like this: when you’re trying to break a bad habit or build a new one, every day you make progress is like chipping away at a brick wall. You don’t see it at first, but with every swing, you’re breaking it down, little by little. And eventually, you’ll look up and realize you’ve created a gap big enough to walk through. Or, the famous question that everyone has heard and knows the answer to: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

So, the moral of today’s post: keep showing up. Well, okay, the lesson not moral, but you get my point. Push through the slump. Even when it feels like nothing’s happening, like you’re stuck, or like you’re not making any real progress—keep going. The breakthrough always comes after the breakdown, and trust me, it’s coming. Okay, imma do my best not to sound like a human fortune cookie for the rest of this post.

For me, what’s worked so far is giving myself space to be human. I know I’m not always going to feel like writing. Heck, I didn’t feel like writing today. So I flipped it and wrote about not wanting to write. I’m committed to my goal, and that’s what matters. The exact same goes for you: find what works. Give yourself some flexibility but stay consistent. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how perfectly you do something, it’s that you’re doing it in the first place.

And let me just say this—if I can do it, you can too. I’m not some productivity machine, y’all. I’m a regular-schmegular person who gets tired, who gets discouraged, and who hits slumps like everybody else. Not to mention that I still have that dreaded day job. But I made a commitment to myself, and I’m sticking to it. And so can you.

So, cheers to me to thirty-three days. Cheers to you for whatever your milestone is. And most of all, cheers to pushing through the slump. Whether it’s day one for you or day one hundred, keep going. You’ve got this.

Until next time, wishing you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the badass, persistent, “Get it! Get it!” force of nature that you are!