The Invisible Black Woman

Rejection is something we’ve all faced at one time or another. Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or life in general, it always stings. But as I alluded to in today’s BlueNote, there’s something about rejection that cuts through the noise. In the heat of the moment, it burns like hell, but it also has this strange way of clearing things up when the smoke clears—you know, the smoke from your singed or charred emotions, depending on the level of rejection. It’s like that moment when you’re driving through a fog, and suddenly it lifts. You can finally see the road for what it is, even if it’s not the path you thought you were going to take.

Of course, now I got Jimmy Cliff’s song in my head and imma have to play it to get the earworm out… I’m not mad at it.

Oh, and if you don’t know what Jimmy Cliff song I’m referring to: SHAME!

But seriously, take it from me—being passed over in favor of someone else can hit hard. I’ve experienced it plenty of times, especially in the professional realm. One minute, you’re doing all the things you’re supposed to do. You’re working hard, showing up, going above and beyond. The next thing you know, someone else swoops in and grabs the spotlight, or worse, the opportunity. You sit there wondering what you did wrong or what you missed. I’ve been there way more times than I care to admit. But here’s what I’ve come to realize: that rejection? It wasn’t really about me.

You see, rejection forces you to confront some hard truths. Sometimes the door closes, and as much as you want to keep banging on it, all that noise won’t change a thing. And sure, you could take it as a sign that you weren’t good enough, or you could see it as a moment of clarity. A moment where you’re reminded that maybe, just maybe, that door wasn’t yours to walk through in the first place.

Y’all remember that previous post where I told y’all all about that no-good so-and-so I was dating out of state and how I had to travel to where I used to live just to make money? If you’ll recall, this good-for-nothing had the audacity to break up with me over the phone while I was out of town. Trifling. To say I was floored would be an understatement. I felt understandably and fully blindsided and completely out of control. But looking back now? That rejection was the wake-up call I didn’t know I needed. It was painful, no doubt, but it also made things clear. It forced me to reexamine the situation and recognize that I was holding onto something that wasn’t meant for me.

Praise Jesus and the latter-day saints for intervening on my behalf on that one. I was in way too deep to see the big-a$$ flashing neon signs telling me to run like hell the other way.

But that’s the thing about rejection—it clarifies what’s not for you. But guess what else it does? It opens up space for what is. Sometimes, rejection is simply life’s way of pushing you in another direction. Whether that’s toward a new job, a new relationship, or even just a new way of seeing yourself. It’s a reminder that you’re not meant to stay stagnant or stuck in places where you’re not truly valued. Like that well-known saying, “rejection is redirection,” right?

So, if for whatever reason you’re feeling that sting of rejection today—I just so happen to be, given what transpired recently. Whether that sting is because of a job, a person, or something else entirely—I hope this reminder resonates with you. Because while rejection may hurt, it’s also doing the work of clearing the path for what’s next. What’s truly for you. What’s meant to align with your vision, your goals, and your purpose.

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited about what’s coming next given what was cleared out of the way for me.

And despite my strong urges to the contrary, you don’t always need to understand the “why” right away. Believe me, I’m saying that to myself more than to you. Sometimes, it takes a little distance and a little time to see the clarity that rejection offers. But when that clarity hits, it’s like the smoky fog lifts, and you can breathe again. You realize that what’s for you will never pass you by.

Rejection rarely feels good in the moment, but it often leaves us with the truth we needed all along. So it may not be today, tomorrow or the day after that, but trust that whatever the universe just removed from your path is making room for the better you truly deserve.

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious than the jaw-dropping upgrade making its way to you.