The Invisible Black Woman

Y’all, last week began as an entire dumpster fire—like, whole-a$$, fiery blazing trash. Monday hit me like a freight train, and I spent the rest of the week in fight mode. I also spent a lot of time talking to my higher power, trying not to go into full-on “burn it all down” mode. By the time Thursday came, I was spent. Monday I was so stressed, shocked and numb I didn’t eat or drink anything. And as someone who loves both, that’s saying a lot. Despite the stress, I spent every morning saying positive affirmations. I’d read a post a while ago about the power of attraction and positivity. Well, I figured that even though I was feeling a hot mess on the inside, I didn’t have to say that out loud.

So every day, from the moment the news landed, I repeated these words to myself, “I am abundance. I am health. I am prosperity. I am peace. I am clarity.” I don’t believe in confusion or in making moves when things aren’t clear. So every time I felt the worry creeping in, I took a deep breath and said those affirmations (and a few others) out loud.

Say what you will about beliefs, traditions, faith, rituals, I know there is power in the words we say. In fact, I know words hurt way worse than sticks and stones ever could. They seep into you. Tell yourself something long enough or have someone else tell you what you are long enough, you begin to believe it. Your brain accepts it as the only truth and you succumb to your fate. So yeah, I wholeheartedly believe in the power of the tongue. But if it can be used to cut someone down to size—even when that someone is us—it can definitely be used as a force of good.

I gotta say that when I said these affirmations on Monday, I didn’t even half believe them. I was going through the motions. By Tuesday it was just a way to keep myself from losing my shit. But by Wednesday, I felt a shift. Those words began to take root. By Thursday morning, mentally and emotionally exhausted as I was, I knew I would have answers come Friday. I didn’t necessarily have any empirical evidence to back that up, but my gut told me Friday was the day.

Sure enough, things happened. In rapid succession. Doors I wasn’t even expecting opened up in ways I couldn’t have predicted. But here’s the thing—I’m still waiting on final word. That’s today’s reality. But unlike last week, I’m stepping into this week with expectancy. I’m waiting, but I’m waiting with the firm belief that everything I need is already on the way. Because it is.

Y’all ever notice how you trust certain things without even thinking about it? You flip a light switch, fully expecting the room to brighten. You turn on a faucet, expecting water to flow. No second-guessing, no hesitation. You trust it because that’s how it works. It’s reliable. What if we approached our lives, our goals, our faith the same way (even if the faith we have is in ourselves)? What if we could trust in the seeds we’ve planted, the good and honest labor we’ve put in, with that same kind of certainty? No hesitation, no doubt—just an expectancy that what’s for us will come through. Or, as Mumma would say, “wat is fi mi cyaan be unfi mi.” Translation, “if it’s meant for me, it is for me.”

So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ve planted seeds, I’ve done the work, and I’m trusting that, like the light switch or the faucet, it’ll all come together when it’s supposed to.

Today’s BlueNote—“Hope you get that good bit of news you’re waiting on this week”—is just as much for me as it is for you. Because while a lot happened last Friday, there are still things in the air. But I’m not worried. I’m waiting with expectancy, trusting that whatever comes next will be just what I need.

So, as we step into this week, I’m inviting you to join me in moving with that same energy. The light-switch kind. The faucet kind. Trust the process, trust the seeds, and know that what’s for you is already making its way to you.

Let’s get it. Let’s gooooooooo!!!