The Invisible Black Woman

So dramatic, right? Kinda like “The Slap” on Hulu, I think it was, but it’s quite the fitting title for this post.

I debated for a lukewarm minute whether I should talk about this. But I promised myself that this writing journey as the Invisible Black Woman is not just about radical honesty with ya’ll, the interwebs, but about calling stuff out that screams at the hypocrisy of things. And that is where I find myself today: between wondering if I should let sleeping dogs lie and knowing that I gotta call it out. So here goes.

Last week, I was pushed into a space I did not believe I was ready to be in: LinkedIn. Now granted, my intent was always to land there because I do believe that a good amount of my kinfolk are there. And given that most of the stuff I talk about is workplace related, specifically about my life navigating corporate America as a Black woman, it was an obvious place to post content. But I hesitated to post there for a ton of reasons. One, the World Wide Web is a lot more anonymous than LinkedIn. Sure, I have not revealed my identity, but on LinkedIn, it’s a matter of when—not if—a colleague of mine comes across my posts and says, “OMG, I know who this is.” And you may be saying to yourself, well, what are the odds of that?

Last week was proof positive of how possible and likely that is. I sat, phone in hand, scrolling through my feed on LinkedIn and then I saw an image that stopped me dead in my tracks. I thought that I was still half asleep, so I put my phone right up to my face. But it wasn’t a mirage. It was one of my images that I posted with Episode 16: So you fight. And then I went on to read the post that titled the image something I hadn’t titled the image, “The Invisible Black Woman.” Then I looked at the reactions: in the thousands and climbing and the reposts in the hundreds.

Jesus, give me strength—and something to calm my nerves.

I forced myself to read the entire post. Great message to go with the image, a lot of the very thoughts I had shared on my blog. That didn’t surprise me because I’m no Christopher Columbus when it comes to talking about our invisibility as Black women. In fact, Evelyn Case wrote a whole book about it that is available on Amazon. Jada Pinkett-Smith did a whole Red Table Talk about it, about The Invisible Black Woman. I honestly could go on and on about this.

So I in no way was shocked or taken aback by the messaging. What did give me pause and fully disappoint me was there was no link back to the source of the image. The poster tagged it as “Artist Unknown.” Now, granted, that in and of itself is not untrue. But the image didn’t fall from the Intersky and land in their inbox. So at minimum, there was an origin. And it was that deliberate erasure that led me to where I am today.

For starters, I am now on LinkedIn. If you want to subscribe, you can do so here: https://www.linkedin.com/company/103434218/admin/feed/posts/. Click the Follow button to keep abreast of the “goings on.” As a related aside, I have to say how much I dislike the labeling of the Follow button. I don’t believe in the labeling of those who want to keep in the loop as followers. I sure as heck don’t want anyone to follow me as The Invisible Black Woman or in real life. I would love it if companies would change that to “Subscribe.” LinkedIn, if you see this post, something to think about and, you’re welcome for the free tip. And, if you are wondering why you should subscribe there when you are subscribed on Facebook or follow my blog (if even in the shadows), it’s because the content I post there will be different. Sure, I’m going to share the writings on my blog—BUT, more importantly, which you’ll see when you go to the About section of LinkedIn, I am going to highlight, big up, and share content about and from Black women. Periodt. Don’t at me, don’t “what about” me, I said what I said. If you have an upcoming book, event, or fill in the blank you want highlighted that focuses on or is authored or hosted by Black women, drop me a message with the link or tag me in your post. I can’t promise I’ll get to every single one of them, but I will make every effort to do so. I will also feature content on the page to bring visibility.

If the idea of “exposing” yourself on LinkedIn by subscribing gives you pause, I have great news for you. LinkedIn has finally masked “Followers” so only the admin can see who they are. The only thing it doesn’t mask are reactions and comments (to my knowledge). So if you want to support in silence, you can still do so and subscribe to the page. I share this as someone who values her privacy and knows how important it is to respect the privacy of others.

All right, so with that out of the way, back to the post/issue at hand. I did share a post on Facebook as a friendly reminder that you should definitely share the content on the blog and on the page as much and as often as you want. That is what the Share button is for. What I hope doesn’t happen is that you co-opt the content as your own or don’t give proper credit. If you notice in all of my posts, I am very intentional about giving proper credit. Whether it’s a quote or something that inspired the post, I will give what I expect and want in return. As a Black woman, that is especially important and critical: to give other Black women their dues or their flowers. It doesn’t at all take away from what you’re doing. It reminds me of a saying I first heard from LovelyTi, a well-known YouTuber. What, you thought I don’t indulge in celebrity gossip from time to time? Come on now. So, back to her quote, “there’s enough food for all of us to eat.” Basically, what I do, even if it’s in the same space, doesn’t take away from what you’re doing. Highlighting someone else’s work on your page doesn’t diminish you. In fact, you will find it has the opposite effect.

I am not going to use this post to out the person. I know well enough to know that the Internet has no chill and if you want to know who it is, you’ll sleuth it out yourself. But as to why I’m even writing about this and giving it any life? Because I can’t very well take the time to call out the situation surrounding Angel Reese and not take the time to call out the hypocrisy when it lands at my doorstep. I am beyond thrilled that what I shared is getting so much traction on a platform I did not believe I was ready to step into. But I’m also saddened at how it happened.

And on that note, I leave you the following seven things that might make you go hmmm. I’d call them pearls of wisdom, but I think this is mostly common sense stuff:

1. Don’t make yourself visible by making someone else invisible. Like the quote I mentioned above, that “there is enough food for all of us to eat,” there’s no reason or need to big yourself up by erasing or not acknowledging the source of the work. Funnily, ironically, and sadly enough, one of you posted a comment on my page that has come to be quite prophetic. I’m not going to get the exact quote because I don’t remember it verbatim, but it went something like, “some of the people here have centered themselves in your narrative, making you once again the invisible Black woman.” That about covers it.

2. Being shortsighted doesn’t pay. Don’t be so focused on the short-term win or gain (like a bunch more reactions and likes than any other post you shared to date) you miss the long-term reward. I am a big believer that when you manufacture a blessing for yourself, that’s the end of your reward.

3. Remember these LinkedIn streets have eyes and ears. My clever way of saying that thinking you can co-opt another professional Black woman’s work and pass it off as your own on LinkedIn just doesn’t work. Inevitably, the person you snagged it from knows somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody that you both have in common. So share wisely and responsibly and give proper attribution.

4. Step out on faith—and with fear if you have to. While I wasn’t ready to be out here in these LinkedIn “skreets,” seeing a piece of what I created shared out of context force me to step out on faith and terrified. It’s entirely possible that someone I know will see what I share and message me and be like, “girl, is this you?” It’s a risk I am willing to take. It’s also possible that same person—or others I know—will see this and be grateful because it’s just what they needed to read and hear.

5. Give credit where credit is due. I mean, the statement speaks for itself, but in case it doesn’t, if it’s not yours and it didn’t just land in your lap or you have no way of tracing the origin, attribute. Not knowing who authored something is not the same as not knowing where you got it from, mmkay?

6. Put out what you want back. I believe in karma and that what goes around does in fact come back around. So I live my life and put out what I want returned to me. I don’t want mess, mayhem, or theft, so I don’t do any of the above. Don’t get mad if mess finds you if you’re putting out mess. Also, if you steal, best believe that will come back to you.

7. Let it go. Are you shocked this is what I ended with? You shouldn’t be. Consider this post me saying my piece on the matter. I’m a writer, so writing is what I do. It’s how I process, grieve, heal, and everything in between. But once I put pen to paper and write on the matter, I won’t take it back up again—unless there’s a sequel or a development. I mean, you already know. But seriously, let it go. I hold no resentment against the person that did what they did. In fact, my mom would say I owe her a thank you for pushing me to do something I had been putting off doing. I don’t disagree. I mean, it’s literally the title of the post. So to the person that shall remain nameless, my sincerest thanks for the push.

Speaking of push, Imma leave you with a bonus message that one of y’all might need to hear. If you are serious about pursuing what it is you want to pursue. If you know that you know that you know what your calling is and have committed it to God or whatever higher power you believe in, don’t think for a moment that power won’t come to collect. When I began this journey many months back, I determined that this is what I want to spend my time and focus on: speaking truth to power through the pain and hurt and joys and highs I have experienced as a Black woman. I made a promise to my higher power, and sometimes that power will use others to nudge you in the direction you need to go, if you’re allowing fear to keep you from moving on something you shoulda been done. For me, it was LinkedIn. You know what your something is. Don’t be surprised if a situation or a person pushes you into the deep end before you believed you were ready to be there. The best I can tell you to do is to grab your floaties or start doggie paddling until you find yourself swimming with ease in the very waters you didn’t think you were ready for. And if you’re squirming right now or you have a knot or butterflies in the pit of your stomach as you’re reading this, then I am absolutely positively definitively talking to you!

Until next time, I wish you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, which are no less fictitious marvelous and one-of-a-kind amazing than the phenomenal creature you are.

Better jump before you’re pushed!