The Invisible Black Woman

Here are a few things I’ve learned. I’m sure none of this will be earth shattering to the average person, but my mom (and my husband) will be the first to tell you that for as smart as I supposedly am, it really takes me a minute…

1. For the love of God, listen to your body. If you read Episode 1, you’ll know I didn’t exactly go straight to the ER when I began having symptoms. Don’t do that. Please pay attention to the signs and take them seriously. We only get one life.

2. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. Ask questions, get second opinions, and don’t settle for subpar healthcare—or a medical provider that is dismissive, or one that doesn’t take your concerns seriously.

3. Workplace trauma is real, y’all. I’m learning firsthand how a toxic work environment can drastically affect your mental and physical health. I’m now learning (thanks to a therapist that has been a Godsend) that trauma bonds can happen at work. Welp. Establish healthy workplace boundaries. And if you can’t, exit ASAP.

4. Mental health is just as—if not more so—important as physical health. I recall telling my bestie how deeply baffled I was with how all of what was happening in my mind was affecting my physical. And she retorted with, “umm, yeah, your brain is the command center for everything else.” Touché. Seriously, please don’t take your mental health for granted. Burnout is real.

5. It’s okay to be in your feelings. Sharing my struggles and being open about my challenges has been a journey of self-discovery. It’s shown me the strength that comes from being vulnerable and the importance of seeking support. This is also the first time in life that I have a real-life therapist and my one regret is I wish I’d started seeing her before the foolishness began at work.

6. Love yourself. No seriously, love yourself—FIRST. This period has been a significant lesson in prioritizing self-care. Like I was reminded that first night in the ER, you’ve gotta put your mask on first before you can help anyone else. Or, another fave of mine, “you can’t give from an empty cup.”

7. Your breaking point doesn’t make you weak. This whole journey has shown me my capacity to adapt and find strength in challenging times. But most importantly, I have come to know that me seeking help was the most courageous thing I could have done for myself.

All right, so that’s all I have for now. Thanks for stopping by. I hope this was helpful to at least one other person, especially if you find yourself in a similar situation. Please get the help you need right now.

Wishing you nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns—which are no less fictitious than the marvelous, one-of-a-kind creature you are.

Toodles!